Actually, when I asked about Spironolactone as a possibility, the resident seemed confused and said it wasn't a common treatment. She even suggested what they would have to do is induce menopause with a medication that my research showed as being very dangerous and there are lawsuits and all that. I was in a luteal state, but I did calmly listen to this ridiculously drastic first line of treatment, which she also told me was very bad in many ways. I stared blankly at her, at best. Sam said as she was talking, he was thinking, "Oh, shit. This is not going to go well for this doctor lady." But I was tired, you know. I just looked at her, and said, "No. Nope. That's not what has to be done. Nope." She then seemed nervous and went to get the real Doctor, not a resident Doctor (you may take offense, student doctors. I'm just saying it how it is). The experienced, fully educated doctor knew about spironolactone as a treatment and talked about Yasmin having similar components as Spironolactone. First, and most important, she came in with a look on her face that said, "I know you feel horrible and I want to help," which is not the look I got from "doctor lady." She said it's difficult to treat, and we really ought to try Yasmin, if I was willing. I was willing to try a treatment suggested by an experienced doctor. She didn't look overly hopeful, and wasn't even encouraging, completely. She did say, "I'm so sorry you are suffering from this, and I hope this first try works for us. It has worked for some of my patients."
Yasmin is approved as being a successful treatment option for PMDD, I hadn't tried it yet, and so that's what I was prescribed. Yasmin is a birth control pill, and Spironolactone is actually considered a diuretic. I don't need birth control, although I was on ortho-tricyclen in the past, which seemed to jive with my body okay. But... it didn't stop the onset of PMDD... that pain train was already full speed on the tracks to this body. So how does any of that make any sense? Birth control to regulate hormones: I get that part. BC pill similar to a diuretic? What?
The difference between Yasmin and the other birth control pills on the market is that drospirenone is unlike other progestins that have been available in bc pills. Drospirenone is a close chemical cousin of spironolactone (ALDACTONE), that causes the body to retain potassium. Spironolactone is known as a potassium sparing diuretic, and because of its diuretic properties Drospirenone can increase potassium to a dangerous level if not properly monitored. Dangerous means it can kill ya and stuff. I didn't know that.
But I didn't have many options. I wanted something to work. I saw doctors who were focusing in on PMDD and not the whole shitshow that is my brain, and I wanted them to help me. I took the Yasmin. It wasn't good. It just didn't go well. As I've written in the past, PMDD for me was clockwork. Here's a clear picture of the first day, through texts to Sam:
Hi"Hey, what's up?"
Nothing. Just saying hi. Trying not to crash.
"I feel yaYou have not been able to sleep well"
That's true.I am crashing. Brain nausea.
Body temp seems to rise. My head and face feel hot.
I start to detach, go numb, I feel sick to my stomach, then...
... I feel agitated, like I've lost something very important, or missed a critical deadline...Shaky.
It is so drastic. So intense it doesn't seem real. I feel like I should be able to wipe it off my skin, like it's just on the surface.
But it's inside me. And I know that, too.
Just putting sour cream into a bowl feels like a struggle. When the kids ask me for something, I feel like I'm going to cry, throw up. I feel numb, like my hands aren't attached to my body.I put all the clothes on the bed, to put away. Now I want to scream at my earlier-today-self, "what were you thinking!? You never finish anything and now you're trapped. It's everywhere, stuff is everywhere, and I can't make it go away.
I could open the door, throw them out onto the deck and not care. I could pretend they never existed.
Then I want to not exist. Now I'm staring at this phone, not seeing words I'm typing, and just knowing when I put it down, I'll go even more blank and numb. Stare at nothing. See nothing. I don't feel anything. But I know I'm scared.
Despite all that, I stayed on Yasmin, to give it the time the doctors said it might take to start "working." Then I had to stop it. I had to. It felt worse than ever. I was scared it would make me stuck that way if I took it too long.
It didn't stick. After being off Yasmin for a month, now, I'm so back on track... the crazy track... but I know where it's taking me, and when. I have a little itinerary. 9:00 am: Wake up groggy and body aches. 10:00-3:30: Get stuff done, or your entire day is toast! 3:30-9:00 pm: See above. And all that lasts for twelve days, and then I feel more like myself again.
You know, I have been diagnosed with ADD, PMDD, MDD (Major Depressive Disorder)--some people tell me I have PTSD--but I can handle it, if I know what to expect. I research the heck out of everything I can find related to my special-psycho-alphabet. I want to know. I want to know as much as I can.
So, this was a boring post, but sometimes, I feel like I'm so damn smart, I ought to tell you actual stuff, and not just my feelings. If you have PMDD, I really wouldn't recommend Yasmin unless you are married to a firefighter and live in a padded house with no sharp objects... anywhere...