Tuesday, January 5, 2016

Na, na, na, na.

So, any time someone groans in my family, someone else (not me) responds:  Na, na, na, na...
Sam taught them that.  It's from a classic rap song, by Master P, I think.  I don't know...  Whenever they are whining in that "Uhhhhh," voice, this is what happens...

I'm not sure why I keep writing here: in a blog.  I'm not sure where I write anything down anywhere that can condemn me in another's eyes.  When I can't do anything else, I still can write most of the time.  I keep writing and writing and writing.

I write to try to get shit out of my head.  I write, imagining an audience, but I know there is no one... No one...  It's strange... I used to be a talented writer, yet now I write things that no one wants to read at all...

People come across this when doing an image search?  Certainly no one comes to this site and thinking, "I want to read every single thing this girl writes," and spends the day studying each post.

I deleted my blog, once.  I deleted everything.  It was a few winters ago....  Sometimes it's empowering to just erase everything that can remind one of anything crappy or in the past that I need to forget.

But isn't it difficult to erase all your thoughts and ideas and artistic expression through writing?  I find it hard to do that.  I know I need to.  I need to stop writing, because it is just something I do when I can't do anything else...  Nothing else...  but I worry I will lose my truths and feelings, which were so real when I composed them... and don't I communicate best in writing?

Maybe I'm better in person.  Live and in person.  Maybe.  

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